Musings that probably don't make sense

I've been worrying a lot lately. Part of me doesn't want to grow up and still be the college kid or high school kid I was just a few years ago. But I know that's not possible. And I know the only reason I want that or would want that is because I'd be running away from making decisions and being responsible. I liked myself a lot when I was naive and trusted everyone, not knowing things. There was nothing to bring you down or disappoint you. However, there's a lot that comes with knowledge. A lot more valuable things, a lot more experiences, a lot of life to live. I guess part of what is making me think of things is all these friends becoming engaged, married, and having children. I have been choosing not to live this kind of life purposely, but I know there's goign to be some point I will want those things. Part of me is afraid I'll just miss out on them. The other reason why I'm thinking like this is because my contract will be up soon. I'm trying to plan out where and what I'm going to do for at least another year. I'm trying to make sure I stay on some sort of target, stay happy, experience the world, be a good friend. I know I certainly fail at these things sometimes, but they're the things that seem to matter at this part of my life. There's no use of worrying about all these things, but they just get to me.
Anyway, I am happy. I'm doing well and I'm healthy. I've made some of the most amazing friends regardless of disappointments. I've experienced so much that I never imagined. Still love the family and friends back home. Nothing could ever replace you all. Much love.

updates

We've had a lot of changes at work recently. We lost 5 out of 9 co-workers as their contracts were up. The first replacement was here for a week and then decided he couldn't cut it. Since we've had 4 others that seem like they're in it for a long haul. It's strange to see the new faces at work, but they seem cool or nice enough. I feel as though because Matt and Ray have gone I have to be more disciplinarian, which is a bit anoying, but I'm sure it will work out in a couple weeks.

I've been teaching a lot more too. It's pretty tiring and sometimes I feel like I spend my whole life in, around or thinking about CDI. But overall, the paychecks will be sweet for the next few months.

There's been no word on the job stuff yet. Still trying, but Koreans don't exactly do business like Americans..so I'm struggling to try to make them understand that I need a job, talking to me directly and while I'm in Korea is the best option, and that yes, in fact, I'm serious about teaching here. I'm not worried. They will need teachers and I have experience.

I guess that's basically it.