life and happiness

I left Korea on October 18 for home.
There was a huge point in September where I could tell that I needed to just go home. I think that's about the time I stopped writing the blog entries. It is not that I hate Korea, I just needed the stability of home. I needed the comfort of the people whom I love and I knew loved me. People can be amazing, but people can also be cruel. at that point, I felt there was a lot more of people hurting each other than being friends. It got over before I even went home. It was about 2 weeks of just not feeling it. I'm not sure exactly when that feeling ended, but it ended on it's own. I think having that feeling was a good thing because I learned that there's no way you can like everybody in the world. if you find you disagree with someone, the world is huge and you don't have to be around them the whole time.
Anyway, so In October I went home. I came home and it had been snowing. Now New England is cold, but not that cold.There's not usually snow in October. But it didn't stick long. I thought I was going to cry when I saw certain people, but I had no tears the whole time I was at home.
My family and I went to Colorado for Jasmine Holbrook's wedding. Their family were some good friends of my family. That was crazy because we drove there and back. And my body was fucked. I had only been home for a day before we left, so I had no idea when I should eat sleep or do anything. So basically, I didn't sleep for a whole week and then the way home all I could do was sleep. But it was fun.
I went to UMass for a few days, went on the scissor lift and saw the marching band. I saw so many people. I saw Athena's baby. I saw so many people and generally just felt the most love that I think I ever felt in my life. When people realize they only get to see you for a limited time, they really step it up. I knew people loved me before, but this confirmed. On the other hand, others proved that they're more just acquaintances than friends.
I also got frustrated with a few guys in my life. Many assumed I wanted to hang out with only them..though they could have been purely innocent gestures, some of them felt very pushy for something more than friends. But that was not my plan for when I was at home. I was going home for America for only a month. There was no way I was looking for a relationship or hookup or anything else for that matter. I was home to see the people I love, the people that already have a huge impact in my life and though I missed a few people, I was able to accomplish most.
I cam back November 21st. I am now living in Busan. It's exciting, because I live in an area where I used to come only on weekends. I can walk to the beach in 10 minutes. I love it. It makes me happy. I know some people think that Busan is a place to party in the summer and that's all it's good for, but I really don't think so. You can party, but you can also have fun in other ways. I have drank far less here in Busan than I ever did in Ulsan. I feel more goal oriented. I'm looking forward to a great year here. A year where I can have fun, be happy, accomplish some goals, and continue to learn more about myself.