One of my co-workers today decided to ask a very serious question during lunch today and it's got me thinking. He asked where we expected to see ourselves in 10 years, mostly speaking career/life-wise. And I honestly don't know. this idea would have bothered me several years ago, but I like it now. I think goals are very good to have and I haven't given up on having goals, but I don't think they have to be that defined such as I will be working for this company, have 3 children, etc.
So, of course one of them said probably with children by then. They began to discuss children. At 34 the other two foreign co-workers were insistent that they would want to be married and have at least 2 children. They were so positive about it and I found myself uncomfortable with their certainty. I felt exactly the way they I do when I look at facebook and see many of my friends married, engaged, having babies. I feel as if I'm wrong or something. I feel as if I should find myself wanting that direction in life. But I'm not. I don't really want it. I'm happy about my choices in my life thus far and I don't want to make it a goal to have 2.5 children in 8.6 years and have a loving husband, etc. I want happiness in my life, but I don't quite see that picture perfect image as something I would be truly happy in.
It's funny because recently I've been having these thoughts when I've been at school. I've been having mental images of me having my child at like 5 years old. I think I would make a great mother. I wouldn't be perfect, but I've been adapting my styles of teaching and slowly learning how I would raise a child if I had one of my own. I do want to be a mother. But I am not setting an age that I want a child by. I think I might even perfectly happy if I had an adopted child. I don't even begin to think of who the father would be, if he would even be around, etc. Part of me even pictures me as a single Mom. It might have to do with my love of Gilmore Girls, but I can picture myself being a Lorelai kind of mother.
Anyways, on a completely other note, I have tonsillitis again. I should be feeling almost 100% by now, but I'm not. I have this God awful cold.
But good news, my parents sent my Christmas presents finally. they got me an e-reader amongst other things. I was so happy. I thank them so much.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment